its been a while since i wrote here. my thoughts and feelings do not come freely and fluidly these days and i dont know why. but since i have time to spare and a myriad of thoughts that i have to unburden, i took the time to divulge these confussing images within my head

we've been together for almost a month and i have to say ive been happy. it seemed as thought ive found someone who can cherish me as me without the pretense and trappings of this world. but as time flies by i get the feeling that he's just playing with me. maybe its just my over active imagination but its what i percieved. he changed ever since we got together. he's not the same. and im not the same. we built a relationship wherein my feelings were not yet cemented. what he felt for me was so huge but mine was not. i was confussed with what i feel for him and what i feel for someone else

i was honest with him, telling him the range of my emotions and he was ok with it, as long as i belonged to him. but this other person keeps intruding not only my thoughts but my feelings as well. yes i have someone, but he keeps popping out of no where and drawing things that i dont feel for the person ive sworn to love

the other already knows about him, that i have someone already. he seems curious to know who he is, where he came from and so forth. but the curiosity seems out of place, even for someone i consider a friend. ive talked to other people about it, people who know my predicament and what they say continues to baffle me. they say maybe the other has feelings for me aswell and is just waiting for the time and looking if there is someone in his way. but i dont think so

and now comes the dilema. the other is making his prescence known not consciously while the one whom ive choosen has slowly drifted away. i dont know how to make sense with everything that's happening...am i paranoid? or are the logical explanations for all of these? i need peace of mind..ive been in the dark for too long