Friday, October 20, 2006
dazed and confused
i promised myself that i would never indulge again but then some promises are made to be broken. I just needed an outlet to release all the building questions in my mind and in my life, I needed something to take me away from all the troubles that are circling my every move. I just needed to unwind.
Am I happy? for now i really have no idea. with the events that are happening between the 2 of us rather than being filled with love and happiness, i'm more confused. Did i do the right thing by going into this? ever since we came together my life has been turned upside down. I cant be the person that he wants and i dont know if he can accept who i really am. Our worlds are far apart, and ive been trying my best not to let it come between us, but it seems he's the one who can come to grips with everything
i really dont know what to do anymore, its as if im settling for the next best thing since i cant have the other one. am i? i really dont know. I have feelings for him but with this distance spanning what i feel for him is over ridden by what i feel for the other. it seems as though im the one doing all the work in this relationship and i think im going past my capacity
i dont know what more to do...i really dont know
Am I happy? for now i really have no idea. with the events that are happening between the 2 of us rather than being filled with love and happiness, i'm more confused. Did i do the right thing by going into this? ever since we came together my life has been turned upside down. I cant be the person that he wants and i dont know if he can accept who i really am. Our worlds are far apart, and ive been trying my best not to let it come between us, but it seems he's the one who can come to grips with everything
i really dont know what to do anymore, its as if im settling for the next best thing since i cant have the other one. am i? i really dont know. I have feelings for him but with this distance spanning what i feel for him is over ridden by what i feel for the other. it seems as though im the one doing all the work in this relationship and i think im going past my capacity
i dont know what more to do...i really dont know
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your risin' sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is a way, that I say I need You
This is a way
This is a way
That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Hello, good morning, how you been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad
I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
These abundant skies
Yeah, abundant skies, yeah
This is a way that I say I need You
This is a way that I say I love You
This is a way that I say I'm Yours
What makes your risin' sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is a way, that I say I need You
This is a way
This is a way
That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Hello, good morning, how you been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad
I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
These abundant skies
Yeah, abundant skies, yeah
This is a way that I say I need You
This is a way that I say I love You
This is a way that I say I'm Yours
Friday, October 06, 2006
let there be light....
its been a while since i wrote here. my thoughts and feelings do not come freely and fluidly these days and i dont know why. but since i have time to spare and a myriad of thoughts that i have to unburden, i took the time to divulge these confussing images within my head
we've been together for almost a month and i have to say ive been happy. it seemed as thought ive found someone who can cherish me as me without the pretense and trappings of this world. but as time flies by i get the feeling that he's just playing with me. maybe its just my over active imagination but its what i percieved. he changed ever since we got together. he's not the same. and im not the same. we built a relationship wherein my feelings were not yet cemented. what he felt for me was so huge but mine was not. i was confussed with what i feel for him and what i feel for someone else
i was honest with him, telling him the range of my emotions and he was ok with it, as long as i belonged to him. but this other person keeps intruding not only my thoughts but my feelings as well. yes i have someone, but he keeps popping out of no where and drawing things that i dont feel for the person ive sworn to love
the other already knows about him, that i have someone already. he seems curious to know who he is, where he came from and so forth. but the curiosity seems out of place, even for someone i consider a friend. ive talked to other people about it, people who know my predicament and what they say continues to baffle me. they say maybe the other has feelings for me aswell and is just waiting for the time and looking if there is someone in his way. but i dont think so
and now comes the dilema. the other is making his prescence known not consciously while the one whom ive choosen has slowly drifted away. i dont know how to make sense with everything that's happening...am i paranoid? or are the logical explanations for all of these? i need peace of mind..ive been in the dark for too long
we've been together for almost a month and i have to say ive been happy. it seemed as thought ive found someone who can cherish me as me without the pretense and trappings of this world. but as time flies by i get the feeling that he's just playing with me. maybe its just my over active imagination but its what i percieved. he changed ever since we got together. he's not the same. and im not the same. we built a relationship wherein my feelings were not yet cemented. what he felt for me was so huge but mine was not. i was confussed with what i feel for him and what i feel for someone else
i was honest with him, telling him the range of my emotions and he was ok with it, as long as i belonged to him. but this other person keeps intruding not only my thoughts but my feelings as well. yes i have someone, but he keeps popping out of no where and drawing things that i dont feel for the person ive sworn to love
the other already knows about him, that i have someone already. he seems curious to know who he is, where he came from and so forth. but the curiosity seems out of place, even for someone i consider a friend. ive talked to other people about it, people who know my predicament and what they say continues to baffle me. they say maybe the other has feelings for me aswell and is just waiting for the time and looking if there is someone in his way. but i dont think so
and now comes the dilema. the other is making his prescence known not consciously while the one whom ive choosen has slowly drifted away. i dont know how to make sense with everything that's happening...am i paranoid? or are the logical explanations for all of these? i need peace of mind..ive been in the dark for too long
