Friday, March 10, 2006
with its comming
Nothing has changed. What I felt before and what I feel now are but the same. Two days are left before the dramatic change in my life and I cant help but feel nothing. I seem to be ungrateful that I cant find joy in celebrating the day I was born. But for me it seems to be but a farce. Why celebrate when I dont see anything and feel anything worth celebrating? I would be deluding myself as well as those around me if I pretend to be happy on that day, or even now. I dont know what to do with myself. I seem ungrateful since everyone around me is so happy with upcomming event, yet I cant find in me the strength to apease them. Im spiraling again into depression and with this I might do something that I may regret in the future. But nothing can seem to stop what is building inside me, this tremendous force that is slowly taking over my being.
Along with this is the feeling of emptiness. Nothing seems to erase this within me. It seems as though with each passing day its growing stronger and digging deeper into my soul. With the approaching event, i remember the things that has created the person that I am today, the coward that slinks away from emotions.
As the days go by, it just builds on....
Along with this is the feeling of emptiness. Nothing seems to erase this within me. It seems as though with each passing day its growing stronger and digging deeper into my soul. With the approaching event, i remember the things that has created the person that I am today, the coward that slinks away from emotions.
As the days go by, it just builds on....
